And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
if i can run in heels then i can drive
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
