I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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