so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Randomize
