I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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