New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
