i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
