I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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