My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
