New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm getting married
To pizza
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize