White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
