You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
