We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
