I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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