sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
