as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
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