Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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