walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
