The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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