You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize