end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
They took my balls.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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