no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize