is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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