I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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