found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just want to make out with him forever
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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