found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
