i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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