but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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