Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
