I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
did you just send me my own nude
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