Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
