I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
