mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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