Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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