Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
