bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
