If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
