Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
