im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
