I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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