no, he came in my armpit
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
