Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize