it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
