Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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