Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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