I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
