My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
