If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
time to smoke my breakfast
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
