It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
