dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
