Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
