Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
