Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
