Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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