The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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