Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
