I want to make a zoo with you.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
