how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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