Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
