No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
