there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
