New invention idea: vibrating tampons
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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