I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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