Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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