Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
