Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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