Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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