My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
